Stephen Openshaw. Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist

 

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Stress Management


"Stress is Good for You!"



Not exactly what you expected to see in an introduction to stress, but it is true.  Stress is helpful and even necessary.  It is only when stress is prolonged or too intense that it becomes a problem, and that can affect your physical and emotional health. 

Stress is an unavoidable fact of life...  but unavoidable does not mean unmanageable.  How you respond to stressful events is what determines the impact on your health.  By learning to manage stress intelligently you can turn the enemy into an ally.  Stress can motivate and invigorate, adding spice to your life.  It can be a kick in the pants rather than a slap in the face. 

Obviously, I cannot hope to show you how to do this in a short introduction.  But I will suggest some things to try, and I hope you can at least get started in the right direction.


"Relax..."


This is as good of a place to begin as any, yes, relax... Take a deep breath, hold it for a second, and as you release it let your body go limp.  Repeat this once more, and try to remember to do this every hour.  Stress increases muscular tension.  By remembering to relax you move leaps and bounds toward managing stress, toward taking better care of yourself.  Your goal is to be relaxed in the present moment . . .  Right now is all we really have so work to spend more time here!  


"Treat Yourself Better"


There are many sophisticated strategies for managing stress, but I believe we can group them together as basic ways to take better care of ourselves.  If you treat yourself well you lower stress and increase your stress resiliency, so you are able to bounce back when confronted with stressful events.  Some basic ways to do this include:

  • Eating well
  • Getting enough sleep 
  • Regular appropriate exercise
  • Recreation... Fun!
  • Social support... time with people who think you are wonderful, who you can laugh with... Develop connections to your community
  • Taking time for breaks/relaxation
  • Being organized, managing your time, setting priorities and goals
  • Taking care of your emotional needs
  • Developing a sense of humor

All of these strategies either lower stress or increase your ability to cope with stressful events.

Taking care of your emotional needs may be as simple as crying when you need to, finding appropriate ways to vent anger, or developing pursuits that lend meaning to your life.  Sometimes the role of emotional factors is more complicated and it may prove helpful to talk to a professional.  Old habits of thinking that contribute to stress can be difficult to change, other family members may contribute to the stress, or your situation may be so complicated or overwhelming that it is hard to know where to start.  There are many approaches that I use to help this process.   These include:


  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy to change thoughts and behavior that contribute to distress
  • Couples therapy to increase commitment, support and communication

  • Assertiveness training
  • Psychotherapy to develop solutions for a wide variety of symptoms that can be the result of too much stress

Becoming an effective stress manager is not something that happens all at once.  Start with small changes at which you know you can be successful.   If you simply become more aware of the stress in your life you will use your natural coping strategies, and this will make you a better stress manager.  Be sure to reward yourself for successful changes.  Any positive change is an improvement.  Celebrate it!  Finally, ask for help if you need it.

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